Tuesday, August 11, 2015


"Guilty by Association"
written by

As I laid here on my bed, I reflected on the events that had brought about this living at a highly animalistic level. Here I was a prisoner of war, an inmate with no true identity, just a number. It had been exactly eighteen years today since I had given up my freedom and embarked on the biggest fight of my life as I try and beat this case. For surely the District Attorney does not want to see me walk.
       A lot of reading and writing keeps my mind off of the "Free-world". The battle against insanity keeps me from future tripping and thinking about the things that I am missing out on. Long talks with the God of my understanding keeps me faithful. More often then not, we as humans, allow ourselves  to become engulfed in the misery of the land, instead of embracing the gifts. It was so easy to get caught up,  yet so hard to get ahead.
       Lisa sent me letters from time to time, sending me photos and letters. She sent inspirational cards and made sure I had money when it was time to shop.
       She told me how our little girl Millyon had really grew up into a beautiful young lady, and how she looked just like me.
       I had carved Psalms 23 above my head on the wall so it was the first thing I seen when I woke up and the last thing I seen before I layed down to go to sleep.

"Yea, tho I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: For thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me."

Over the last eighteen years, I had seen many men die right before me. Death took no prisoners, it merely just executed them.
       I had become accustomed to a structure that revolved around prayers and Salaats. I recited the Quran in the early dawn, and performed my "Zuhr" As-Sala't from mid day until the darkness of night. I blessed the Angels in charge of mankind. Before the rising of the sun, as well as before it set, I glorified the most high with "Asr Salaat" or "Sa-laat Al-wusta"
        At the two ends of the day and some hours of the night I said my "Fajr"  and "Maghrib" Salaats. I asked the most high to verify my good deeds and please remove my evil ones.
        There were five "Salaats" from the Qu'raan for which muslims had been commanded to remember Allah.
         It was through this difficult time in my life that had brought me closer to my higher power. Some would say that I had become a monster and would have no real definition of who I had became except for ruthless and revengeful. Things were still a blur at times for me, but what I do know, was that losing my best friend was painful, and then to see his funeral disrespected, was all too much for me. Some nights I barely got any sleep as I frequently got visited by holographic pictures of men as they took their last breaths. The scared looks on their faces made me chuckle. But watching their souls being sucked from their bodies made me quiver.
        I have been living amongst these lifers for a while now, many of them don't have too much to live for, or give a shit about dying. The respect level here is not really too complicated tho...  "Mind ya own, ya last long" was the motto that we stood by. There was really too much fighting at this level , it was kill or be killed. That was just how the Lifers operated.
        Even tho almost two decades had almost passed, I still remained faithful that everything would work itself out . I stayed prayed up, and tried my best to remember that "Without no test, there would be no testimony"     ........... "Insha-Allah" (God-Willing)


  1. What a way for Bobby Ray to see more Good in higher power after 18 yrs but daaaamnnnnn, daaaamnnn, daaamnnn Ginaaaa! Locked up, and got a daughter!!! Wowwww!! GOOD READ!!!!

  2. Very deep! Just a few grammatical errors that need to be tweaked but overall, I'm intrigued by this snippet.